I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
