So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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