Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
