it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
