Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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