Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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