Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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