With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
