Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
