the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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