Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
