I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
