oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
