your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
