Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
