I love black thongs
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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