It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
