you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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