Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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