you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
