Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
