Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
