My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
