I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
