It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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