Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
