the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
