Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
