walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
