I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Drake has all the answers
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
