New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
