he puts the penis in happiness.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
