I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
