he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
