You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
