Is it because I queefed?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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