In the future we'll all be gay
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
