she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
