He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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