Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
