"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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