thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
