I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
