Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
