his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
