I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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