ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
