so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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