Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
