They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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