nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You have to summon your inner elephant
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's rum buckets o'clock
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
