Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
