On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
they're like a gay fantastic four
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
