there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
